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Letters Never Sent

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For the musical ones in school. [29 Jul 2004|01:58am]

illusioned_eyes
half ached: I SOOOOOOOOOOO hope my kids will be involved in chorus
half ached: I think if they're not I'll be fucking devistated
cord confusion: even if they're not... you'll love them just the way they are (if they're perfect)
half ached: Yep
half ached: But with my luck they'll be band geeks and we'll be rivals.
cord confusion: LOL
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just have to get this out. [01 Mar 2004|07:06pm]

illusioned_eyes
I'm depressed today. I feel empty. I want to make art. No matter in what form. Pictures, words, whatever.

Today's one of those days when all I want to do is listen to sad music and cry and take pictures of the rain. I wish it would rain so I could take pictures of it. It makes me feel so free.

I want to put a towel down in my backyard in the pouring rain and lay on it and sing while I feel the blades of grass in between my fingers with the smell of the earth in my nose. Just laugh. All alone. Open my mouth and let the rain fall in, in the same way tears fall from my eyes, and become one with nature and one with myself.

I long for a day like this.

I just want to feel free again.
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lord love instant messaging. [22 Jan 2004|07:50pm]

illusioned_eyes
[ mood | amused ]

This is funny I don't care:

Anth: how stupid would i look if i were bald?
Me: I do not know
Me: I'm scared in picture it lol
Anth: well i'm sick of my hair and there's no way i'm getting to a hair cutter anytime soon, so i'm *seriously* thinking i'm just going to shave it all off
Me: *gives you a lip curl/eye combo*
Anth: ?
Me: Your brother has that haircut. and if you shave it *all* off, you'll get sick of people asking if you have leukemia.
Anth: then i'll tell them i do and play the pity card, haha
Me: That's low.
Anth: i know

--------------------------------

and,

Me: you about made me spit tea thru my nose.
Shauna: that's a good day in my book! any time I can make you almost spit tea thru your nose!
Me: right on
Me: spitting milk through your nose burns
Shauna: yeahr it does!
Me: of course when I spat milk through my nose the most recent time it about had the force of a firehose, so that's bound to smart a little.
Me: and Drea's away messages make me wanna slit my own throat.
Shauna: ROFLMAO!!!!

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"I'm a skater, and I also play one on TV." [20 Jan 2004|09:51pm]

illusioned_eyes
Oksana Baiul guest starred in today's episode of "Strong Medicine", only she had Osteoporosis as opposed to a drinking problem. Interesting.

Naw, she's a cute personality. I just hope she stopped wrapping cars around trees. She should know that that is not an olympic event.

Contrary to popular belief.
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[12 Jan 2004|02:16am]

illusioned_eyes
I just turned on the TV and saw an infommercial for "6-Second Abs". For fuck sake.

Go O.D. on botox, asshole.
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[06 Jan 2004|12:09am]

illusioned_eyes
I just read two girls' journals and they each said something that made me fall outta my chair laughing!

#1
"I wish I had the strength to go upstairs and kill myself. I'm such a funking pussy."

#2
"I woke up today with a bloody nose and a bloody vagina.


AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

These bitches oughtta write for the NBC. God knows they could use the material.
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[05 Jan 2004|11:43pm]

illusioned_eyes
[ mood | restless ]

I miss the days of summer.
Spending the night with Anthony under false pretenses, swimming in the pool on a gloomy day
walking back to his house laughing in the rain.
Pouring.
Just like the smiles
that were pouring from our faces.
The nights laughing and drinking with the lady
in the unit to the left of him
Lightning flashing
thunder crashing
and not a care in the world.

I need to escape.
Just get away.
Just for a little while.
Far from here
in some forgotten city
swimming in the motel pool and coming in to take a hot bath and flip through the TV channels with the remote control that's bolted to the nightstand.

It would be so sweet.

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[26 Dec 2003|12:53am]

illusioned_eyes
Me: I got an issue of 'Fitness' magazine in my stocking, I woulda said "BITCH!", but then the entire Dove bar woulda fallen out of my mouth.
Me: so there goes that.
Anth: HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHA
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[18 Dec 2003|08:52pm]

illusioned_eyes
[ mood | excited ]

this is the best icon





...ever.

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[16 Dec 2003|11:55pm]

illusioned_eyes
I went to see christmas lights tonight. I never used like to do that when I was a kid. We'd all get in the van and go to neighborhood after neighborhood looking, and all I could think about then is how much I wanted it to be over. Now all I can think of is how much I wish it wouldn't end. Like I find some sort of solace in twinkling red and green lights.

I seem to go to another place, just for a little while. I don't know what that place is called but it's tranquil.

and comfortable.

and free.

Funny how something so small can do so much for you, but it does. Makes me wonder what I want so much to run away from.
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